Urban Bushmen

How more Australian experience can you get than a trek through the outback? Just like you saw in "Australia"; red dirt, hot sun, grit, stunning vistas, apparating & disapparating Aborigines, rugged, resilient life forms and colorful characters. All it takes is a Range Rover, lots of planning, preparation and time to drive through it. Or you could pay lots of money to an adventure tour agency who will arrange this bit of romance in adventure for you. [Should point out here that the brochures do not mention the blow-flies hovering about your mouth and eyes or that a "comfort stop" is actually a squat by the rear tires.]

Lacking time and money, the rest of us are content for the moment to be Urban Bushmen. There are many National Parks about of different ilk, certainly many of them remind me more of state or metro parks rather than Yellowstone or Yosemite. But each is worthwhile in its own way. Our most recent one included a walk through gum trees, tea trees and banksia shrubs. Oh look, a snake! Kev held me back. Most snakes in Oz are venomous and if you don't recognize the few friendlies, no sense in exciting any. We stopped at the lake's shore and drank in the sight. Lots of ducks, egrets, herrons, pelicans (not looking for Nemo), kookaburras laughing at us, gulls hoping for a feed, an unknown bird staring down on us from a branch above (taking aim?) and the very symbol of Perth, the black swan-only found in WA, I believe.

Missing were the usually ubiquitous collection of exotic looking parrots: budgeriegars, sulphur-crested cockatoos, galahs, "twentyeights", black cockatoos and all sorts that make you think that smuggling birds into US pet shops could be a lucrative profession. But no matter. These birds are also found right at our house.

All this trekking about the bush makes one hungry and we come prepared with an "eskie" full of vittles. Due the dry conditions everywhere, especially in summer, every park of any size has a unilateral ban on barbeques. The risk is simply too great for a small errant ember to turn into a catastrophic forest fire. So free electric (or gas) grills are installed everywhere and are well used (and sometimes actually cleaned by users, sigh.) We have a two-burner gas camp stove for such occasions, also.
Not quite as rough as charcoal briquettes-should you be able to find them- but Man still can roast the Beast, along with his favored onions.
Yes, the urban bush life works for us.

Community Art

Perth has its share of art outlets: a symphony orchestra, opera, jazz group, art museums and an a mammoth arts festival. But patronage [along with the money to do so] is not what gives the greater metropolitan area its vibrant, lively feel. It is the ubiquitous statuary and sculpture art that are sprinkled throughout the area.


These hopping kangaroos, along with another 'roo drinking out of the fountain, are outside Council House (municipal office building) and are popular with tourists and locals alike.

This starts a Hollywood Blvd. Walk of Fame-style trek through downtown of Western Australia's own stars of commerce, politics, sports, agriculture, charity, public service and general glitterati. This keeps more than a few tourists with their nose to the ground instead looking ahead.



Here we have Perth's first bishop, Matthew Hale, preserved for all time welcoming boys to his downtown school. The building is now repurposed as the new building moved to some prime real estate closer to the ocean. Hale School remains to this day a very illustrious institution for boys.




At the main shopping area of the CBD [Central Business District=downtown], the statues get livelier as do the people. Street performers entertain the shopping crowds. An aboriginal man with his didgeridoo, a mime, a guitar player, even a man who rolls in his stand-up piano on a wheeled dolly. The tips must be good or how else could the opera singer still remain smiling through her fifth rendition of "Nessun Dorma" in one hour? It is a powerful, if subconscious, lift to the psyche of people walking about the shopping area.



There are a couple of these gum nut (from native eucalypt trees) fountains to be found in the center of traffic circles. Traffic circles are not rare and the challenge becomes how to make them noticeable and unique. Many have a large tree in that center island but I like fountains, whether water is running from it or not.

Some may see community art as a superfluous bit of expensive fluff, but Perth proves there is real public value in it.

School Days, school days, dear old golden...

Summer is over... for school kids. Today, armed with fresh supplies, new bookpacks and pressed uniforms, they returned to a life of Reading, wRiting and aRithmetic. Public and private schools (and there are a lot of private schools) alike wear uniforms. I find the grand variety of uniforms fascinating. Maybe because I have never had to wear one. I notice that wide brimmed hats are part of uniform, at least at elementary school level. Sun safety lives. Many private schools are called colleges, e.g. Ursula Frayne Catholic College Year 7-12. Classes will now run for 10 weeks, 2 weeks off, 10 weeks of class, 2 weeks off, etc. with the summer break lasting 6 weeks. It is compulsory through Grade 10.

I found out a rather astonishing fact recently. Grammar is not taught in schools as a regular part of the curriculum. Grammar was thought to "stifle creativity" and de-emphasized in the 70s, eliminated in the 90s. This is rather apparent when reading second-tier newspapers and press releases-as I do for my show. The sitting Federal government sees a problem with this policy and will reinstitute grammar as a requirement.
Another crack in the system: enforcing the compulsory attendance. I see Joe quite a bit at the library-it's a hangout for both of us. Joe is healthy, clean, polite and respectful of people & property. And he is illiterate. He is not registered at any school, so no school can be contacted to come pick him up. A stronger authority intervention? Joe cannot function at high school level and I am told by a education professional that WA has no remedial education program.

I think tomorrow I'll check out the kind of stuff kids pack in their lunches.

G'day Mate!

Actually, this is pronounced "G'die, mite" should you ever hear anyone say this. "G'day" is heard, and "mate" is heard but I don't hear them together. You don't hear about anyone 'flipping shrimps on barbies' either...even if they do call shrimp 'prawns'. There's a few 'dunnies' around though. Crocodile Dundee aside, there are a few phrases that get stuck in your ears when you first arrive here:
"How are you going?" = How are you doing?
"Good on ya'" = Good for you!
"ing" is a common suffix for many words. Stores have 'opening hours.' I write 'covering letters' to potential employers. Expectant women are 'dueing in April'.
Kids learn math in school. Spelt 'maths'. Pronounced 'mass'. I prefer 'numeracy'.
Sports rule here. That's why I list 'referees' instead of references on job applications.
Tuna is really chyuna, Tuesday chyuzday all wrapped up in al-loo-min-nee-um foil.
But, far and away the most common speech pattern is to use the diminutives:
Mossies are mosquitos, relies are relatives, Chrissie is Christmas, bikkies for biscuits (cookies, that is) and brekky is served in the morning. Lollies (candy) for a treat. See, that guy was right, everything you need to know you did learn in kindergarten (kindy).

Kettles on. See ya lighter.

Lead Me to Verdant Pastures

The population of Australia is 20.7 million, most of whom live near an oceanic shore. It is the most arable land with nice breezes cooling the residents. But not too far into the interior and the scenery changes dramatically. Red dirt desert spans the miles and miles (and more miles) between the coasts. Aussies embrace this rugged landscape, celebrate it in song, print calendars, write books and make movies about it.


Green is good, however, and I have found three spots where a proper chlorophyll fix can be had. The island state of Tasmania is half national park of unexplored forest and home to a few Tasmanian Tigers hiding from extinction. The whole island is a pleasure and reminds me of my home state of Michigan.








The Dandenong Forest in the state of Victoria is a rare temperate rain forest.
Jaw-dropping, larger-than-life flora waving in an ethereal mist have inspired movie makers, Disney cartoonists and this diarist to wax poetic on the soul soothing scenery. And not do it justice.


Closer to home is the South-West region of Western Australia. Edged by the Indian and Southern Oceans is the spectacular Margaret River wine region. These wines are developing quite an international reputation and winery hopping is great sport. The hills are alive with Karri trees in the Warren National Forest and some excellent communities like Pemberton. The locals and hordes of tourists mix in easy companionship at the country pub which double as community center, hotel, restaurant (with big plate/low price specials), liquor store and landmark for all else you could be searching for.
We picked up some work as movie extras in an indie film (about indie film makers) being shot there. The producer wanted a small town that wasn't a dust bowl. I wanted to be any part of the action. Kevin wanted to be paid in beer. We were all successful.

Factoids: WA people population 2.1 million. Sheep population 25.6 million.

Australia Day in WA

January 26 is Australia Day, the birth-of-a-nation holiday celebrated on the anniversary of the first shipload of convicts landing in the country in 1788. If you are a Sydneysider, it is merely a paid day-off. If you are an Aborigine, it is a day maybe not best remembered. If you live in Western Australia...it's PARTY TIME!


Patriotism swells in the hearts of the smallest communities and the Big City with an unapologetic glee and chant of "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...Oi,Oi, Oi" at every turn. The day is full of activities: community breakfasts, citizenship ceremonies, civic awards, concerts, cycle races, Aboriginal dance programs, bouncy castles & Ferris wheels, regatta competitions on the water, a five-hour air show in the sky and the day ends with a magnificent fireworks display over the River and from the tops of the skyscrapers. Even the the sun got into the action with a partial solar eclipse.



Of course, one must dress for the occasion. Aussie clothing is an absolute must. The more the merrier: shirts, pants, skirts,hats, socks, temporary tattoos, sunglasses, carry a flag. Better yet, wear that flag. Literally. These exuberant gals made dresses out of the national flag. Many people tied the flag around their necks to wear it like a super-hero cape.

Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...Oi, Oi, Oi!

We did not spend the entire day on the north or south foreshores. Part of our celebrations included cooking supper in our homemade solar oven. We learned to make the simple but effective appliance on Saturday from some genuine B&Bers (Birkenstock and Burlap underwearers.) Heated nachos that day, baked potatoes the next and on OZ Day, the piece de resistance-Kangaroo Chilli. Yes, real Roo meat, tomatoes and chiles that we grew ourselves all cooked to perfection in 4 Down-Under hours. Then to view the fireworks from our own balcony. What a grand day!

Admit it, you are jealous.

Hannah Montana and Me

I love the look of film, but digital works on the web. So, I bought a mini, almost-digital Hannah Montana camera. Am I cool or what? Working within its limitations (afraid this $12.88 gizmo won't get great shots from the moon or on a speeding train--actually, no farther than 9 feet according to the instructions) I will occasionally color this blog with graphic proof of my wild tales. Starting with my Hannah Montana profile pose...