Saturday, April 12, 2014

The "M" Word - A Dieter's Woe

     I am determined to lose weight.  The reasons are numerous and they really aren't important here so I won't list them. What is critical is the word 'determined'.  I ramped up my exercise-for-the-sake-of-exercise to 250% of what is was in October. The sun came up at 5:30a.m. and I was out the door at 5:45a.m. I kept half an eyeball on my food intake and set this as my course.
     Three months later I had not lost any weight.  Not a single ounce.  Disappointed, I made a slight change to this already changed equation of my lifestyle.  I resumed the pleasure of a few small cookies in the evening, if I felt like a little treat. One month later there still was no change in my weight...in either direction. It was time to up the ante. I needed to put both eyeballs on the food half of my lifestyle equation.  I went to see a dietician on the advice of my general practitioner.
     The misgivings I had before the appointment were hardly assuaged by the first meeting.  The national health service doesn't pay much so she wasn't offering much in the way of customized advice.  The pre-printed sheet outlined a miniscule breakfast, a lunch that consisted  of a slice of bread with either tuna or peanut butter on it plus two (2) cups of celery and carrot sticks, and a supper that consisted of a tiny bit of meat or cheese plus a half (½) cup of cooked pasta [have you measured a half cup of pasta lately? TINY]  and two (2)  cups of cooked vegetables.  Could a ballerina exist on this? But, as I am determined, I give this lack of joy a try.  I don't have the patience for measuring everything all the time--my eyeballs work well enough--but I will keep a very basic food diary. And I will try some of the mostly unsatisfying but recommended commercial snack options she suggested plus a few more adjustments she would certainly approve of.  And stayed dedicated through to the first follow-up appointment two weeks later.
      I had lost a paltry 1.3 kgs / 2.8 lbs. in those two weeks. Is that all? Despite the copious amounts of vegetables, and exercise, I still have more in common with  Jabba the Hutt  than  with Margot Fonteyn.

      "Well," the dietician says, "middle-aged women like yourself are also dealing with reduced estrogen, lowering metabolism rates..."
      WHAT!!?!  MIDDLE-AGED??!?  I have been 29 for more years than I can count. How does three decades of life equal middle-aged? There's impertinence for you. I have never been called "middle-aged." Hmmmmpph.
       "...as I told my mother, expectations really need to be tempered. You won't look like Elle MacPherson by the end of the month."

       The good news here is that I managed not to eviscerate her tiny, barely post-adolescent self on the spot.  Instead I let her be impressed by my food diary and  nutrition comparisons of snacks she recommends versus the ones I appreciate.  And for my troubles, I received a minute amount of customization on my eating plan.
       A friend (slightly older than 29) recently confided that on her well-known diet & nutrition program she has lost 30 pounds in the last 11 weeks.  I am happy for her.  I just wish it wasn't going to take 11 months for me to accomplish the same thing.  sigh.