I received a letter yesterday that bore evidence of your petty handiwork. The paper envelope had been well-thumbed in the center with a slit in the bottom corner. You felt something through the paper, assessed the potential value of the free floating contents and decided to help yourself.
It must have been fairly easy to make that slit in the corner--with your fingernail, perhaps?--slide the object into your hand and then into your pocket. It's busy, no one noticed you tampering with the mail. Perhaps your colleagues are too busy stealing from other envelopes or maybe doing their jobs properly and with respect. Quickly you send the letter on its way. What's the harm, you think? Certainly none to you as there is no proof of your duplicity. Paper envelopes can tear easily. Who knows exactly where the contents dropped out?
You are far from being the only creepy postal worker, pal. I've traveled a bit and I've talked to others who have traveled even more. There is no shortage of postal workers who abuse their positions of trust with the paid correspondence of others and who just plain don't care about the rules they are supposed to work under. They come from countries one would think have evolved passed petty larceny (yours!) to Third World countries where we are all too quick to add dishonesty and lack of pride to their blighted face of humanity. Some people may not even be cognizant of the effect of their actions. Travel through the back roads of some South American countries and pop into their post offices. Look on the wall, pretty picture postcards of faraway places decorate the dreary space. Why deliver those cards when they look so nice in our office? We can enjoy them, also. Others know exactly what they are doing and take the opportunity to let the recipient know that they can get away with fleecing the postal customer. Companies doing business in places like Nepal do not send important things through the mail but use private courier service. How many aid workers and expats have relatives who send care packages only to find that a postal "inspector" has redirected the goodies into their own satchels but decide to put the empty wrapper back into your box. Why the mean tease? Because they can get away with it. No one will find me. Besides, those foreigners don't need or deserve these goodies as much as I and mine do. Yeah, Creep, you are part of a dubious brotherhood.
So what did you get from my envelope? A USB. Filled with corporate secrets you can sell to the highest bidder? Maybe some interesting pornography? Actually, a friend was sending me a copy of an old holiday TV show that I grew up watching every December but does not exist in Australia, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." The stop-action technology is absolutely ancient but its lessons are still salient. And it gives me joy to watch it as an adult just as it did as a child. I hope you enjoy the show. And maybe you will learn a lesson.
 |
| "Let's be independent together!" © Classic Media |
What have we learned here? Well, small packets are safer than letters for very small items to be sent. But if a paper envelope is the go then it is prudent to tape the small item (ring, key, coin, USB, etc.) to a piece of cardboard. That would make it more difficult for the item to be squirreled out of a tear in the envelope by a postal thief. I suppose a small prayer to the mail gods wouldn't hurt.
Merry Christmas, Grinch.
No comments:
Post a Comment