2013 Perth Royal Show

     It's that time of year.  The Perth Royal Show is on (or, the state of Western Australia's State Fair) and in full swing. A city slicker from birth, I really like attending these agricultural shows. I'm not much on the rides, games or carny hokum but I don't begrudge those who enjoy these aspects along with the endless retail opportunities.  I like the animals, the artsy craftsy stuff,  the educational displays, free food samples, free entertainment and cookery competitions.

     The Show has promised one million dollars worth of entertainment this year. Probably didn't spend it all on the police bagpipe band although I did enjoy their performance. A new entertainer this year is the Ozrocketman.  Tired of just viewing that jet pack James Bond wore in Thunderball, our guy built his own (said to be the only jet pack in Australia and at a cost of $1000 per flight) and zooms around over the audience and showgrounds on a regular schedule.  Not quite a concert but it sure does fuel fantasy in the beholders. Being introduced to Australians here at the Show is Krispy Kreme doughnuts.  I have to admit to getting excited about the familiar, even if I don't actually like the product.  And Krispy Kreme doughnuts are not my favorite, but I think to myself "why not, home has come to you!"  The huge line at the K2 trailer waiting for deep friend delights and collectable trinkets went a long way to reminding me that I really don't have to eat hip-expanding doughnuts just because they are here.

     My fans ( hi, Mom ) are doubtless wondering how I did in the cookery competitions.  I had three entries: a brandied marmalade [using citrus "liberated" from the trees outside the Supreme Court building] that my tasting board said was a sure fire winner, and two Pantry Shelf -six sample items constituting a single entry- collections of which one represented an afternoon tea (Jam, Marmalade, Fruit Spread, Orange Butter, Apple Butter and Brandied Prunes)  the other represented a light supper (Pickled Onions,  Red German Cabbage, Pickled Beets, Root Vegetable shapes, Colored Sweet Peppers [these last two mildly vinegared] and Anchovy Paste).    It was the afternoon tea Pantry Shelf that won the ribbon.  I hadn't given it much hope. Too much of the contents are simply foreign to Australian taste buds. The fruit spread I called OPAL --a very Aussie gem used in acronym for orange/pineapple/apricot/lemon, not all of which is ripe at the same time so some allowances had to be made. No one has heard of apple butter and orange butter was sure to be confused with the translucent smooth yellow spread everyone eats called lemon butter.  This is why I called my orange butter (made with OJ , rind, honey and real butter)  Beurre L'Orange.  The French judge caught on right away.  

     There was a bit of controversy amongst the group of hanging around the French judge who had made herself available for general questions about preserving and competition.  Many people (including the judge) seal their jams by turning the jar upside down for a few minutes after filling.  All of my books say this old practice is a big no-no.  Juices could compromise the seal and welcome mold by the upside down method so everything needs a hot water bath for a complete vacuum seal.  The judge insisted that hot jars, hot lids and hot contents would do the trick just fine. Why boil water for one more step? One lady said she had never heard of a hot water bath.  OK, I come from a different planet.
 
     But, I still have a red ribbon and more ideas for next year.
   

Spring Wildflowers in Western Australia

    There are some really interesting natural wonders to see and enjoy here in Western Australia: walking amongst the giant Tingle trees in the south, picnic under a giant sheep's testicles,  watch whales migrate,  play hide-and-go-seek amongst the Pinnacles, feed the dolphins at Monkey Mia,  camp at the magical Karijini National Park, get gritty in the natural resources of the Kimberley or buy lovely pearls in far north Broome.  Each is a day's drive from the next--an unfortunate reality in a state as huge as WA--making a 'tour of the sights' possible only for those with lots of free time.

Everlastings

     Overlooked in all of this is the most accessible and wild -- the spring wildflowers. Popping up all over starting in May way up north to November in the deep south, the state is carpeted with over 12,000 varieties of flora, 60% of which are exclusive to WA.  We're talking deep shag carpet here, folks. A small child could get eaten up  in a field of tall everlastings.  An orchid fan consumed by their search for the Queen of Sheba amongst all the Donkeys. And so many other flowers- their beauty unsung by poets- smile for those who get off the road and are willing to take a walk.   All rather miraculous

Queen of Sheba orchid

really.  Much of WA is more hard scrabble than hospitable to plant life.  Ever hear of the red dirt of a "sunburnt land"? Yep, that's us.  And yet, nature shines on despite adversity.

     We recently  took our first drive to see this annual miracle. A northern loop from Perth that went up to Geraldton, over to Mullewa , down through Perenjori and Dalwallinu, side step to Three Springs before dropping into Moora. The wildflower guidebooks promised much and I always enjoy staying at country pubs.  The lack of  steady winter rain reduced the intensity of the flora this year but I was not disappointed. I was happy to take what I could get.  Besides, we lucked out in that

Fringed Lily

two communities were holding flower shows that weekend. Cool beans!  They were different from my usual flower show.  Mullewa's show set up little agri-scapes to highlight the flora and fauna found in the area. OK, the birds were caged but each section was like its own little bushwalk. Funny, I've never thought Australian flowers to have much fragrance but there was a "distinctive smell of bush" (so described the show Steward) in the hall which I can only translate to 'Australian forest'. They had historical displays to augment the agri-scapes. Three Springs had vased samples of flora on tables but also had a community art exhibition.  Attendees got to vote on their favorite photograph, drawing or painting in various classes.  Some were even for sale.  I was lucky enough to find a pretty gum leaf watercolor painting for $45 that looks perfect in my livingroom.

Wreath Flower

     The true rock star of the tour was the wreath flower, which is having a bumper crop this year. Shaped like a wreath, this is a single flower from a single tap root that grows in the hard packed earth near roads. A less likely place to thrive I cannot imagine but the roads to everywhere seemed to have at least a few. Truly sensational.

     I have been hearing for years that picking native wildflowers is illegal in this state. Yet I was seeing plenty of picked native flowers.  So what is the deal? Some said picking on your own private property is OK, just not on public lands. Others said no!, only flowers you have cultivated are OK.  And the final word came from the Western Wildflower Farm in Coomberdale who said all of the above are wrong.  They have to have  licenses to grow, harvest, sell, package and ship native wildflowers regardless of where they are located. Oh, it sounds like a complicated business, especially when government is involved.

Donkey Orchids

      I do fancy another wildflower trip but to the south.  The soil and landscape is so different from the red desert of the north and so are the flowers. Orchid aficionados are quite happy to be hunting in these parts. Little known is that the area around Fitzgerald River National Park has been declared a Biodiversity reserve hotspot worthy of watching and protecting by UNESCO.  I wonder why Tourism WA doesn't push the spring wildflower season more in its publicity about the state.  The rocks at the Pinnacles will always be there but the annual spring flora is worth the trip in from anywhere.   

    

   

Fitting in at the Perth Fashion Festival

     Tonight I got in touch with my inner fashionista. Well, such as she is anymore. The 2013 Perth Fashion Festival is in full swing highlighting local and national designers, clothing trends and size 2 fantasies. In its fifteenth year, it coincides with that other big fashion festival in London (England, not Ontario) in many ways: dates, pretension, impractical clothes, pouting models and dreamy glamor. 
   
      I have certainly given plenty of publicity to the Perth Fashion Festival on my weekly radio show but have never been to an actual event. So when I got out of work just at the time a free event in the festival tent was about to start, I seized the moment. Shooed away from the VIP entrance, I skidded in the commoner entrance just in time to get pointed to a few deserted chairs way high up off runway level.  They didn't give me the toys everyone else got: glow sticks and cheapie sunglasses. Probably startled (or horrified ) by my old geezer office clothing. Hey, my make-up looked good. This same sartorial statement kept me from getting  moved closer to the runway to fill in chairs for the photo opps  numerous photographers and videographers were waiting for at the end of the runway. No biggie. I was plenty close to the pulsating bass music and fog machines up there in the nosebleed section.

      Tonight's show featured clothing from stores in a particular shopping area. This is not high fashion but it has a place at festivals in cities outside the major fashion centers.  The festival's fashions need to be accessible to a wider audience in Perth than they do in Milan, Paris or New York. Of course there are the designer shows (none free admission) here but also kids clothing and the "upcycling" fashion parade consisting of outfits found at local thrift stores. It's all good.  So cue the DJs and start the action. Lots of slouching young models mincing their way down the white path in extravagant heels . Some forget to put on the I-hate-modelling-scowl and smile at the professional and amateur photographers. "Selfies" (taking a picture of yourself using your cell phone's camera) being all the rage , half the models are using smart phone cameras as props for the action either on themselves or with audience members. The models high-five, bump booties, shimmy or in some other way interact with each other as they pass on the runway. Bub-bub-bub-bub bubblebutt  the music booms. Is that a size 10 model out on the floor??!  Just one female model seems to eat three meals a day but the organizers recognize that not all of their target audience  resembles the human coat hangers who will wear the haute couture garments at the high-end events.  All of the male models looked quite normal.

      So what did I see?  Will I be running out and buying new clothes this weekend? Well, I did see one or two things I could imagine wearing...if they came in my size. I certainly know what to expect to see walking the sidewalks over the next few months. And it definitely was an interesting bit of theater in a world I usually don't inhabit. And that qualifies as a mini-adventure.