15th Annual Croatian Food Festival

   Dobre dan, my friends. Let me take you to the 15th Annual Croatian Food Festival held at the Esplanade Hotel in Fremantle.  We went to it last year and eagerly awaited last night's opening. Hope you're hungry...

   The fun starts as soon as you approach the Atrium.  Oh look,  costumed cgagnin smiling with welcoming trays of figs, bread and glasses of slivice (slivovic)- a seriously strong brandy.  Our table is right next to the VIP table where the mayor, Croatian Consul-General and other dignitaries are seated on opening night. The decorations of posters, costumes, flags and banners add to the festive atmosphere. 

   Stop gawking already. It's time to eat.  The spread is fantastic: three bars of salad, seafood and greens. An extended table of hot entrees and soup with a carving station off to the side. And a dessert table....but let's not get ahead of ourselves. This is a three hour supper, slow and steady does it.   Start with the salad bar where each premade salad, like everything else, has an ethnic appropriate name in English above its name in Croatian.

Every recipe seems to start with "Croatian", "Dalmatian", "Slovanja" or the name of a city like Hvar. Hey, it makes the coleslaw extra special. After a few trips to the salad bar, hit the seafood bar. Some people don't get much farther than this.  Last year, we watched the  twig-thin, 20 year-old  daughter of the Croatian Consul-General eat three plates of crab.  Kev only had two. Those king prawns are a hit also.  The salted fish takes some getting used to.

  My family is going to ask, "But do they have pigs-in-a-blanket?" This is what our Grandma called cabbage rolls. Yes, but these are made with cinnamon or nutmeg. UGH! New offerings this year included: Dalmatian Tripe, Isterian Roast Duck...or was the Rabbit from Isteria?, Penne Veal, some dolled up Chicken, Sauerkraut & Bacon plus the usual Roast Beef. Zucchini thrown in for yuks.  Yes, brothers mine, I did eat some of the tripe in memory of your sacrifice so many years ago. 

     All this food doesn't just magically appear. Celebrity chef Dennis Valcich is brought in from Sydney every year to oversee this feast. There was a video crew out last night shooting footage for an in-house project or future advertisement. This shot was the only time Chef got his hands dirty publicly in the name of food. He was there to take the accolades and, with great concession, insist he can't compete with anyone's grandmother.  Bless him.

   I must mention that the first thing one walks up to on the dessert table is a bowl of fresh fruit-- largely ignored. Three tables of cakes, cookies and other confections just winked a whole lot harder.  I chose only that which I cannot get easily at home...which means only the orange Jell-o was a miss. 

   Some singing, some dancing, some music, a few speeches (that Vice-Consul was so uncomfortable making a speech--mostly in Croatian-- and when you add his colorless waxy skin, thin lips, bad haircut and worse suit, he looked like a Russian spy in a 1940's movie) and a little more music.  Add a little more food and you have a full evening.

Literally.

We staggered out making the usual oaths ["I'm never eating again. Ever. "] and wondering if Gluttony has been reduced to a misdemeanor.  More wheezing and grunts when we finally managed to get to the car. Dawg, it takes a lot of energy to turn the key in the ignition.  The ride home is spent reliving the experience and seeing if we 'got our money's worth.'  It's not a cheap night. But we wouldn't miss it.

Schivilli!