Bread & Cheese

As I am feeling rather peckish at the moment, let's talk food. No, not kangaroo steaks (very gamey meat) or emu hors d'oeuvres (Aborigines apply emu oil on arthritic joints) but the stuff North Americans are more familiar with.

First lesson: never ask for bread in a restaurant. It's NEVER free and $5 is a steep price for four slices of white bread.
Second lesson: I don't care how many times the word "tasty" appears on the label, grocery store cheese couldn't be farther from it. It is puce colored rubber that makes Velveeta taste like artisan Farmhouse cheese. Better to pay the small fortune it costs for real cheese in toney shops.

Other things noticeably missing: vegetable shortening and Kool-Aid. One might be able to live without Crisco but Kool-Aid deprivation ought to be disallowed by the rules of warfare outlined in the Geneva Convention. Adamant about using Crisco instead of butter or lard? Head to the fancy department store, David Jones, and go to the International Gourmet Foods section. Yes, Crisco has been updated to "gourmet" in these parts. Expats flock to the store when they hear a new shipment of Crisco, chocolate PopTarts, McIlhenny's tabasco sauce and Nestle's Tollhouse Chocolate Morsels has come in. Cha-ching, they are not cheap.
I might mention here that Kool-Aid passes through Australian Post and Customs inspections with the greatest of ease. hint, Hint, HINT.

I haven't noticed McDonald's locking step with local custom, but many Aussies prefer beets on their hamburgers instead of pickles. Stuffing is a claggy mess made from bread crumbs. And, drowning in beer is considered a noble end.

Oh, and no, I have not developed a taste for Vegemite. ewwwww.