Actually, this is pronounced "G'die, mite" should you ever hear anyone say this. "G'day" is heard, and "mate" is heard but I don't hear them together. You don't hear about anyone 'flipping shrimps on barbies' either...even if they do call shrimp 'prawns'. There's a few 'dunnies' around though. Crocodile Dundee aside, there are a few phrases that get stuck in your ears when you first arrive here:
"How are you going?" = How are you doing?
"Good on ya'" = Good for you!
"ing" is a common suffix for many words. Stores have 'opening hours.' I write 'covering letters' to potential employers. Expectant women are 'dueing in April'.
Kids learn math in school. Spelt 'maths'. Pronounced 'mass'. I prefer 'numeracy'.
Sports rule here. That's why I list 'referees' instead of references on job applications.
Tuna is really chyuna, Tuesday chyuzday all wrapped up in al-loo-min-nee-um foil.
But, far and away the most common speech pattern is to use the diminutives:
Mossies are mosquitos, relies are relatives, Chrissie is Christmas, bikkies for biscuits (cookies, that is) and brekky is served in the morning. Lollies (candy) for a treat. See, that guy was right, everything you need to know you did learn in kindergarten (kindy).
Kettles on. See ya lighter.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Lead Me to Verdant Pastures
The population of Australia is 20.7 million, most of whom live near an oceanic shore. It is the most arable land with nice breezes cooling the residents. But not too far into the interior and the scenery changes dramatically. Red dirt desert spans the miles and miles (and more miles) between the coasts. Aussies embrace this rugged landscape, celebrate it in song, print calendars, write books and make movies about it.
Green is good, however, and I have found three spots where a proper chlorophyll fix can be had. The island state of Tasmania is half national park of unexplored forest and home to a few Tasmanian Tigers hiding from extinction. The whole island is a pleasure and reminds me of my home state of Michigan.
The Dandenong Forest in the state of Victoria is a rare temperate rain forest.
Jaw-dropping, larger-than-life flora waving in an ethereal mist have inspired movie makers, Disney cartoonists and this diarist to wax poetic on the soul soothing scenery. And not do it justice.
Closer to home is the South-West region of Western Australia. Edged by the Indian and Southern Oceans is the spectacular Margaret River wine region. These wines are developing quite an international reputation and winery hopping is great sport. The hills are alive with Karri trees in the Warren National Forest and some excellent communities like Pemberton. The locals and hordes of tourists mix in easy companionship at the country pub which double as community center, hotel, restaurant (with big plate/low price specials), liquor store and landmark for all else you could be searching for.
We picked up some work as movie extras in an indie film (about indie film makers) being shot there. The producer wanted a small town that wasn't a dust bowl. I wanted to be any part of the action. Kevin wanted to be paid in beer. We were all successful.
Factoids: WA people population 2.1 million. Sheep population 25.6 million.
Green is good, however, and I have found three spots where a proper chlorophyll fix can be had. The island state of Tasmania is half national park of unexplored forest and home to a few Tasmanian Tigers hiding from extinction. The whole island is a pleasure and reminds me of my home state of Michigan.
The Dandenong Forest in the state of Victoria is a rare temperate rain forest.
Jaw-dropping, larger-than-life flora waving in an ethereal mist have inspired movie makers, Disney cartoonists and this diarist to wax poetic on the soul soothing scenery. And not do it justice.
Closer to home is the South-West region of Western Australia. Edged by the Indian and Southern Oceans is the spectacular Margaret River wine region. These wines are developing quite an international reputation and winery hopping is great sport. The hills are alive with Karri trees in the Warren National Forest and some excellent communities like Pemberton. The locals and hordes of tourists mix in easy companionship at the country pub which double as community center, hotel, restaurant (with big plate/low price specials), liquor store and landmark for all else you could be searching for.
We picked up some work as movie extras in an indie film (about indie film makers) being shot there. The producer wanted a small town that wasn't a dust bowl. I wanted to be any part of the action. Kevin wanted to be paid in beer. We were all successful.
Factoids: WA people population 2.1 million. Sheep population 25.6 million.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Australia Day in WA
January 26 is Australia Day, the birth-of-a-nation holiday celebrated on the anniversary of the first shipload of convicts landing in the country in 1788. If you are a Sydneysider, it is merely a paid day-off. If you are an Aborigine, it is a day maybe not best remembered. If you live in Western Australia...it's PARTY TIME!
Patriotism swells in the hearts of the smallest communities and the Big City with an unapologetic glee and chant of "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...Oi,Oi, Oi" at every turn. The day is full of activities: community breakfasts, citizenship ceremonies, civic awards, concerts, cycle races, Aboriginal dance programs, bouncy castles & Ferris wheels, regatta competitions on the water, a five-hour air show in the sky and the day ends with a magnificent fireworks display over the River and from the tops of the skyscrapers. Even the the sun got into the action with a partial solar eclipse.
Of course, one must dress for the occasion. Aussie clothing is an absolute must. The more the merrier: shirts, pants, skirts,hats, socks, temporary tattoos, sunglasses, carry a flag. Better yet, wear that flag. Literally. These exuberant gals made dresses out of the national flag. Many people tied the flag around their necks to wear it like a super-hero cape.
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...Oi, Oi, Oi!
Patriotism swells in the hearts of the smallest communities and the Big City with an unapologetic glee and chant of "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...Oi,Oi, Oi" at every turn. The day is full of activities: community breakfasts, citizenship ceremonies, civic awards, concerts, cycle races, Aboriginal dance programs, bouncy castles & Ferris wheels, regatta competitions on the water, a five-hour air show in the sky and the day ends with a magnificent fireworks display over the River and from the tops of the skyscrapers. Even the the sun got into the action with a partial solar eclipse.
Of course, one must dress for the occasion. Aussie clothing is an absolute must. The more the merrier: shirts, pants, skirts,hats, socks, temporary tattoos, sunglasses, carry a flag. Better yet, wear that flag. Literally. These exuberant gals made dresses out of the national flag. Many people tied the flag around their necks to wear it like a super-hero cape.
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie...Oi, Oi, Oi!
We did not spend the entire day on the north or south foreshores. Part of our celebrations included cooking supper in our homemade solar oven. We learned to make the simple but effective appliance on Saturday from some genuine B&Bers (Birkenstock and Burlap underwearers.) Heated nachos that day, baked potatoes the next and on OZ Day, the piece de resistance-Kangaroo Chilli. Yes, real Roo meat, tomatoes and chiles that we grew ourselves all cooked to perfection in 4 Down-Under hours. Then to view the fireworks from our own balcony. What a grand day!
Admit it, you are jealous.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Hannah Montana and Me
I love the look of film, but digital works on the web. So, I bought a mini, almost-digital Hannah Montana camera. Am I cool or what? Working within its limitations (afraid this $12.88 gizmo won't get great shots from the moon or on a speeding train--actually, no farther than 9 feet according to the instructions) I will occasionally color this blog with graphic proof of my wild tales. Starting with my Hannah Montana profile pose...
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Green Grocer mystery solved
Every shopping center in OZ has the standard supermarket, but also - to my great delight - a bread bakery, butcher, fishmonger and a green grocer. But one thing always puzzles me about what I see in the "fruit & veg" shops--the size of the produce. Sweet potatoes are the size of small watermelon, celery half way to sequoia status, uber jumbo broadbeans, cucumbers doubling as jousting poles. I mean, what can be the advantage to growing green onions into the size of a bush when the green parts are now woody and unpleasant?
Discovered the answer this morning: farmers here are paid by weight, so there is great advantage and savings in effort to let the produce grow very large. I'm not sure of the benefit to the consumer. I wonder how all of this works in the States. If US/Canadian farmers are paid by weight (and I don't know) why do they harvest their crops at manageable sizes? Let's say that North American consumers demand vegetables at their optimum size---why not Aussies? Not all produce suffers from steroid-envy, thank goodness, because I really do like the green grocer experience.
Discovered the answer this morning: farmers here are paid by weight, so there is great advantage and savings in effort to let the produce grow very large. I'm not sure of the benefit to the consumer. I wonder how all of this works in the States. If US/Canadian farmers are paid by weight (and I don't know) why do they harvest their crops at manageable sizes? Let's say that North American consumers demand vegetables at their optimum size---why not Aussies? Not all produce suffers from steroid-envy, thank goodness, because I really do like the green grocer experience.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Taxes and Elections
Let's get a few of the heavy hitters out of the way. I want to talk about some cool topics asap.
TAXES
Aussies will complain that the US has too many layers of tax payment: Federal, state, region or city. Aussies make one payment (and none too small) to the Feds who then pass it on to the states as they see fit. GST tax applies to just about everything purchased, but it is added to the price - or hiding in the price, if you prefer. Again, Aussies like this for the less mathematical effort on their part --who wants to calculate tax on a purchase? Just hit me with the bottom line.
There are a couple of demerits to this system as I see it. One, it fosters an extraordinarily high expectation on the Federal Gov't/current Administration and a walloping sense of entitlement. No more so than in the National Health Service (Medicare), pensions, nonwork benefits and education. Governments who hold these purse strings, and eagerly use these social issues as political pawns, do not do so without great public scrutiny and demand. Second, regional areas outside the Big Cities (and face it, there are only 5 big cities in the whole country) wind up getting the short stick. The major support of Western Australia is mining (mineral, metal, semi-precious & precious stone) frequently located in remote areas. Despite paying loads of taxes, the money doesn't find its way back for the necessary infrastructure maintainance needed to conduct its business. A downside to a lack of regional financial autonomy.
ELECTIONS
Same kind of top-why-go-down thinking seems to go into elections. Elections here are not on a prescribed schedule, i.e. first Tuesday in November, spring election in March, but called by either a very vocal and irritated public or a current administration which sees political benefit in calling an election before terms are up. Mercifully, campaign seasons last only 1or 2 months. But elections are expensive to run and every level of government has its own election. The idea of staging federal, state, shire (county) and city elections all at the same time is not even in collective consciousness if not an anathema to Australians. Not surprisingly, shire and city elections are widely ignored. They've not enough perceived political clout to generate interest in yet another trip to the polls. All votes nationwide are cast on paper ballots. The House of Representatives are voted in on percentile of approval--voters do not vote for one person but rate them 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice,etc. and then they are all averaged out (best way to put it) so the person who had the most highest-choice votes wins. (hey, I just live here...)
I should add that voting at Federal level is compulsory. Some states have instituted compulsory voting mandates as well.
TAXES
Aussies will complain that the US has too many layers of tax payment: Federal, state, region or city. Aussies make one payment (and none too small) to the Feds who then pass it on to the states as they see fit. GST tax applies to just about everything purchased, but it is added to the price - or hiding in the price, if you prefer. Again, Aussies like this for the less mathematical effort on their part --who wants to calculate tax on a purchase? Just hit me with the bottom line.
There are a couple of demerits to this system as I see it. One, it fosters an extraordinarily high expectation on the Federal Gov't/current Administration and a walloping sense of entitlement. No more so than in the National Health Service (Medicare), pensions, nonwork benefits and education. Governments who hold these purse strings, and eagerly use these social issues as political pawns, do not do so without great public scrutiny and demand. Second, regional areas outside the Big Cities (and face it, there are only 5 big cities in the whole country) wind up getting the short stick. The major support of Western Australia is mining (mineral, metal, semi-precious & precious stone) frequently located in remote areas. Despite paying loads of taxes, the money doesn't find its way back for the necessary infrastructure maintainance needed to conduct its business. A downside to a lack of regional financial autonomy.
ELECTIONS
Same kind of top-why-go-down thinking seems to go into elections. Elections here are not on a prescribed schedule, i.e. first Tuesday in November, spring election in March, but called by either a very vocal and irritated public or a current administration which sees political benefit in calling an election before terms are up. Mercifully, campaign seasons last only 1or 2 months. But elections are expensive to run and every level of government has its own election. The idea of staging federal, state, shire (county) and city elections all at the same time is not even in collective consciousness if not an anathema to Australians. Not surprisingly, shire and city elections are widely ignored. They've not enough perceived political clout to generate interest in yet another trip to the polls. All votes nationwide are cast on paper ballots. The House of Representatives are voted in on percentile of approval--voters do not vote for one person but rate them 1st choice, 2nd choice, 3rd choice,etc. and then they are all averaged out (best way to put it) so the person who had the most highest-choice votes wins. (hey, I just live here...)
I should add that voting at Federal level is compulsory. Some states have instituted compulsory voting mandates as well.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Bread & Cheese
As I am feeling rather peckish at the moment, let's talk food. No, not kangaroo steaks (very gamey meat) or emu hors d'oeuvres (Aborigines apply emu oil on arthritic joints) but the stuff North Americans are more familiar with.
First lesson: never ask for bread in a restaurant. It's NEVER free and $5 is a steep price for four slices of white bread.
Second lesson: I don't care how many times the word "tasty" appears on the label, grocery store cheese couldn't be farther from it. It is puce colored rubber that makes Velveeta taste like artisan Farmhouse cheese. Better to pay the small fortune it costs for real cheese in toney shops.
Other things noticeably missing: vegetable shortening and Kool-Aid. One might be able to live without Crisco but Kool-Aid deprivation ought to be disallowed by the rules of warfare outlined in the Geneva Convention. Adamant about using Crisco instead of butter or lard? Head to the fancy department store, David Jones, and go to the International Gourmet Foods section. Yes, Crisco has been updated to "gourmet" in these parts. Expats flock to the store when they hear a new shipment of Crisco, chocolate PopTarts, McIlhenny's tabasco sauce and Nestle's Tollhouse Chocolate Morsels has come in. Cha-ching, they are not cheap.
I might mention here that Kool-Aid passes through Australian Post and Customs inspections with the greatest of ease. hint, Hint, HINT.
I haven't noticed McDonald's locking step with local custom, but many Aussies prefer beets on their hamburgers instead of pickles. Stuffing is a claggy mess made from bread crumbs. And, drowning in beer is considered a noble end.
Oh, and no, I have not developed a taste for Vegemite. ewwwww.
First lesson: never ask for bread in a restaurant. It's NEVER free and $5 is a steep price for four slices of white bread.
Second lesson: I don't care how many times the word "tasty" appears on the label, grocery store cheese couldn't be farther from it. It is puce colored rubber that makes Velveeta taste like artisan Farmhouse cheese. Better to pay the small fortune it costs for real cheese in toney shops.
Other things noticeably missing: vegetable shortening and Kool-Aid. One might be able to live without Crisco but Kool-Aid deprivation ought to be disallowed by the rules of warfare outlined in the Geneva Convention. Adamant about using Crisco instead of butter or lard? Head to the fancy department store, David Jones, and go to the International Gourmet Foods section. Yes, Crisco has been updated to "gourmet" in these parts. Expats flock to the store when they hear a new shipment of Crisco, chocolate PopTarts, McIlhenny's tabasco sauce and Nestle's Tollhouse Chocolate Morsels has come in. Cha-ching, they are not cheap.
I might mention here that Kool-Aid passes through Australian Post and Customs inspections with the greatest of ease. hint, Hint, HINT.
I haven't noticed McDonald's locking step with local custom, but many Aussies prefer beets on their hamburgers instead of pickles. Stuffing is a claggy mess made from bread crumbs. And, drowning in beer is considered a noble end.
Oh, and no, I have not developed a taste for Vegemite. ewwwww.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Perth. The Wild West
O.K. It used to be the wild west back in the days of the initial gold rush. Only a few vestiges of those days remain. Namely: brothels are still legal here. I thought the "gentlemen's relaxation centre" seven blocks away was a hair salon based on the artwork covering up all windows. (And they prefer to be called "sex workers" not prostitutes.) Beyond my sensibilities.
Anyway. It's a rather pretty city with a nice mix of new buildings, old buildings (with names like The Western Australian Trustee Executor & Agency Company Limited), community art, tons of restaurants, nice beaches and a wickedly high cost of living. Three-quarters of the state's entire population of 2 million lives here. This is remarkable as the state of Western Australia is easily 25% of the entire country in land mass with only 1/10th its total population. 3000 kms of red earth and desert separate ethnically-diverse Perthites from the inferiority complex the folks on the east coast unsuccessfully try to foist on them.
Head south and you'll find a flourishing wine industry in Margaret River and environs, four actual seasons (as opposed to mild & hot in Perth) and National Parks without names. Head north and you...are heading north. Go way,way, way, way north to the Kimberley diamond mine area for the scenery in the movie Australia. The Indian Ocean is always winking at you.
Excuse me while I hitch my horse and 'roo.
Anyway. It's a rather pretty city with a nice mix of new buildings, old buildings (with names like The Western Australian Trustee Executor & Agency Company Limited), community art, tons of restaurants, nice beaches and a wickedly high cost of living. Three-quarters of the state's entire population of 2 million lives here. This is remarkable as the state of Western Australia is easily 25% of the entire country in land mass with only 1/10th its total population. 3000 kms of red earth and desert separate ethnically-diverse Perthites from the inferiority complex the folks on the east coast unsuccessfully try to foist on them.
Head south and you'll find a flourishing wine industry in Margaret River and environs, four actual seasons (as opposed to mild & hot in Perth) and National Parks without names. Head north and you...are heading north. Go way,way, way, way north to the Kimberley diamond mine area for the scenery in the movie Australia. The Indian Ocean is always winking at you.
Excuse me while I hitch my horse and 'roo.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
And so starts the adventure...
...the OZ adventure and the blog adventure. Fear not, this won't be the endless personal drivel that only the writer cares about--I have a journal for that. No Pulitzer prizes for writing either--I'm saving that for my book (ha ha.) Just the musings of an American in Perth, Australia. Think of it as a virtual tourbook of what you might experience when you finally make it to the end of the world yourself.
Like real postcards, the messages won't be long. You are not likely to receive one daily, either. But they will be funny, informative, curious, shocking or all of the above. That is a promise.
Thanks for taking this journey with me.
Like real postcards, the messages won't be long. You are not likely to receive one daily, either. But they will be funny, informative, curious, shocking or all of the above. That is a promise.
Thanks for taking this journey with me.
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